“I’m concerned that Mormon doctrine is infiltrating my church.”
“Huh?”
“I’ve noticed several church members who don’t drink coffee. And they’ve been posting on Facebook about quitting smoking.”
“Why does that make you think Mormonism is infiltrating the church?”
“Because Mormons aren’t allowed to drink coffee or to use tobacco.”
“I’m still a little confused.”
“Mormon doctrine teaches that God wants us to refrain from using coffee and tobacco. Therefore, anyone who refrains from using coffee or tobacco is being influenced by Mormonism.”
“Oh…you’re right! That is scary! We need to sound the alarm!”