“Let your graciousness be known to everyone.” – Philippians 4:5
I reflected on that verse this morning in my devotions. The CSB Study Bible note reads:
Graciousness implies selflessness and respect for others (cp. 2:1–4). Seldom mentioned in Paul’s writings, graciousness is expected of believers and Christian leaders (cp. 1Tm 3:3; Ti 3:2). Be known indicates it is part of the church’s reputation.
Those words convict and challenge me. I’m selfish by nature. I cut my theological teeth in a Christian context in which pastors scored cheap points with unreasonable characterizations. Withholding graciousness is a hard habit to break.
It’s helpful to remember that our selflessness and respect for others—whether that’s in public action or in private conversations—is an indicator of integrity and conformity to Christ. The words and actions of Christians in response to COVID-19 or a disappointment with our neighbor betray our character. When we always have to add a jab, frustration, or critique, we reveal how little we love.
An Illustration from Beth Moore
Today is the first anniversary of the death of Rachel Held Evans. From the little I knew of Rachel, she and I would be on opposite sides of many issues. Nevertheless, the public response of some “Christians” to her death grieved me.
Social media is not always a shining example of “graciousness.” But to my surprise, the first thing I saw on Twitter this morning was just that. Beth Moore shared a moving thread on the strange relationship between her and Rachel. I’m posting the full text here as an excellent example of how we might relate to those with whom we disagree.
Want to tell you a story. I got a text from my daughter a year ago today. 2 words: Rachel died. She was referring to @rachelheldevans. Went to the floor sobbing, “No no no no, Lord, please no.” We’d prayed so hard. Pled so hard. I never met Rachel. We had a unique relationship.->
— Beth Moore (@BethMooreLPM) May 4, 2020
I ask for your grace to tell the story, a story about life in this insane social media culture. I ask you to listen instead of lurch. Rachel and I had been on opposite sides of several issues. Our familiarity to one another was limited to the controversial. My knowledge of her…
— Beth Moore (@BethMooreLPM) May 4, 2020
was based on whatever my part of the world retweeted or circulated about her. We got into it a few times and, let me just say, you didn’t want to get into it with Rachel. I say these words with a smile and tears in my eyes. I never had an opponent in my life I respected more.->
— Beth Moore (@BethMooreLPM) May 4, 2020
In a faith world drowning in hypocrisy, I knew that girl was earnest to the bone. One of the really awful things about social media is that 2 people who disagree may respect certain rules of engagement & not go for the jugular but their camps can often mob the other viciously.
— Beth Moore (@BethMooreLPM) May 4, 2020
I can’t tell you how many times I have watched people say things to others as if on my behalf and I’m thinking to myself, I would never in my life talk like that to her/him. Stop! It’s very disturbing. I don’t like it no matter what that person has done to me. It was 1 of those->
— Beth Moore (@BethMooreLPM) May 4, 2020
times. Both of our camps were mob-bullying the other. I wanted to DM her to check on her but I didn’t know how to do it without following her on Twitter. So I did. She answered me almost immediately. It was brief. Talked about what impact constantly being hit has on the soul.->
— Beth Moore (@BethMooreLPM) May 4, 2020
Then I was left with a most interesting conundrum. I had followed her on Twitter. Was I to unfollow her or keep following her? In those days I still cared that people could make certain assumptions from who you followed. I could not care less anymore but that’s a different story.
— Beth Moore (@BethMooreLPM) May 4, 2020
I thought, well that’s a fine kettle of fish. We just held out a bit of an olive branch to one another and now I am going to Unfollow her and she is going to know it. Seemed unkind & hypocritical to me so I kept following & some of you are not going to believe what I discovered.
— Beth Moore (@BethMooreLPM) May 4, 2020
I thought, well that’s a fine kettle of fish. We just held out a bit of an olive branch to one another and now I am going to Unfollow her and she is going to know it. Seemed unkind & hypocritical to me so I kept following & some of you are not going to believe what I discovered.
— Beth Moore (@BethMooreLPM) May 4, 2020
.@rachelheldevans was a real live person. She was not the embodiment of all her controversial retweets. She was a multilayered human. She talked about her children. Her man. Her life. She got the flu during that period & I prayed for her & wrote her name in my journal. “Rachel.”
— Beth Moore (@BethMooreLPM) May 4, 2020
.@rachelheldevans was a real live person. She was not the embodiment of all her controversial retweets. She was a multilayered human. She talked about her children. Her man. Her life. She got the flu during that period & I prayed for her & wrote her name in my journal. “Rachel.”
— Beth Moore (@BethMooreLPM) May 4, 2020
I replied to this or that tweet about regular stuff. She did the same. We did not become best friends nor big DM buddies but I’d like to make the point that, for Rachel and me, we became something more important: real people to one another. We were more than our stands. Rachel &
— Beth Moore (@BethMooreLPM) May 4, 2020
I were, hands-down, the 2 most hated women in the Christian media world. By fellow Christians, of course & for different reasons. That was our unique connection. And two people have to occasionally see how the other is holding up under the strain. Make no mistake. IT IS A STRAIN.
— Beth Moore (@BethMooreLPM) May 4, 2020
I’d already been praying for her when she got that last flu. I saw her shout-out when she said, “if you’re the praying kind.” I replied what she already knew. I was praying kind. And now the tears flow. I prayed so hard. I printed out a picture of her and taped it up at LPM ->
— Beth Moore (@BethMooreLPM) May 4, 2020
Told my staff what they, of course, already knew, “She is not a social media account. She is a person. This is what she looks like. Here is the picture of her with her husband and children.” I still have that picture on my phone. I sent her a DM while she was in that coma. ->
— Beth Moore (@BethMooreLPM) May 4, 2020
Told her something to the effect of, I will stand over you in prayer continually and then please come back and, well, what I meant was, drive me crazy.
She didn’t.
To all her real live loved ones: I have prayed for you so hard this year. I am so deeply sorry for your loss.
— Beth Moore (@BethMooreLPM) May 4, 2020
Thanks, Beth, for modeling graciousness.
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